Decluttering Your Heart and Home: The Power of Forgiveness
The arrival of spring presents us with a golden opportunity to refresh and organise not only our homes but what’s going on inside us too. Today, I’d like to introduce you to an often-overlooked tool that can help create a lighter and brighter home, as well as a more harmonious life for you and your family – forgiveness.
Much like when we declutter and tidy our physical surroundings, it’s equally essential to declutter our hearts and minds. By releasing grudges, shedding guilt, and bidding farewell to emotional baggage, we create space for positive energy and change. Practising forgiveness allows us to move forward with a renewed sense of purpose and clarity.
Decluttering Emotions
Decluttering our homes can sometimes stir up a whirlwind of emotions. Guilt, fear, shame, resentment, sadness and even anger can all surface as we assess our belongings and our lives. It can often feel like all of our mistakes are coming back to haunt us and keep us stuck in the past.
Here’s a technique I’ve learned from Money Mindset Coach Denise Duffield-Thomas, which I’d like to share with you. It’s about creating a bit of distance between yourself and these emotions and bringing compassion back into the situation.
Pause and Breathe
When you find yourself overwhelmed by negative emotions, pause and take a deep breath. Place your hand on your heart if it feels comfortable. If not, simply keep your hands at your sides. Now, repeat these four phrases to yourself while thinking of the troubling situation:
- “I’m sorry.”
- “I forgive you.”
- “Thank you.”
- “I love you.”
Let's put it into practice
Example 1: Wardrobe Woes
Imagine that you have a wardrobe full of clothing. Instead of feeling happy, you find yourself getting really angry and frustrated. All you see is that you have spent all of this money on clothing but it either doesn’t fit right or were impulse buys that you don’t actually like. Here’s how you can use the four phrases as you speak to yourself about what you are feeling:
- “I’m sorry that you made a mistake and spent this money.”
- “I forgive you; you were trying your best, and it didn’t work out.”
- “Thank you for trying to find clothing that fits our personality and body.”
- “I love you and you are enough just as you are.”
By speaking to yourself kindly, you create a distance from the intense anger, allowing room for self-compassion.
Example 2: Family Member’s Actions
Suppose a family member overwhelms and stresses you out by constantly buying things for your kids. In this situation, I would recommend imagining yourself talking to the family member. Obviously, talking to them directly about the situation is important but so to is releasing the negative emotions in the moment:
- “I am sorry that I feel resentful towards you right now.”
- “I forgive you for not realising how overwhelming this is for me.”
- “Thank you for loving and caring for our kids; I appreciate it.”
- “I love you for all that you do for us.”
Once again, by doing this exercise you are able to bring compassion into the situation and create a circuit breaker on the negative spiral.
Create a shift
This exercise can help you shift from anger and resentment to understanding and finding new ways to manage the situation. Providing you with an avenue to deal with your emotions in a healthy and non-damaging way.
Note: if you are struggling to find the words, imagine that you are speaking to a dear friend or a child. What would you say to them? We are often much kinder to others than to ourselves.
Go beyond the physical
Decluttering goes beyond physical possessions; it extends to your emotional well-being as well. Like anything new, this technique might feel strange when you first start doing it but keep going. The more you use this, the easier things will become.
Forgiveness can be a powerful tool in creating a lighter, brighter, and more harmonious home and life. It is time to clear out the emotional clutter and let the positive energy flow.
Note: As always, if you need some extra guidance and support I am always here to help.
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