Why You Should Stop Apologising for the Clutter
I hear this phrase all the time from clients, from friends, from neighbours, from parents, couples and single people alike, I even catch myself saying it and that is: “I’m sorry about the mess.”
But here is why I wish people would stop apologising for the state of their homes.
Life happens here
Your home is not meant to be a pristine showroom. It’s a living, breathing space where life unfolds. Mess is a natural part of that process, and it’s perfectly okay. From toys scattered on the living room floor to the aftermath of a cozy family dinner, these are the signs of a life well-lived.
Fosters Judgment
By saying ‘I’m sorry about the mess,’ you unintentionally invite people to judge your home, and in turn, it can make them feel self-conscious about the state of their own home. It’s an unnecessary cycle of judgment that doesn’t benefit anyone.
Real connection
When you invite someone into your ‘imperfect’ home, you’re giving them a glimpse into the real you – the person behind the tidied-up façade. It’s in these genuine moments that meaningful connections happen. Real friends, the ones you want in your life, won’t judge you for a bit of clutter. They’ll appreciate the warmth and authenticity of your space.
Priorities matter
Life can be incredibly busy, and there are times when other priorities take precedence over maintaining a spotless home. That’s perfectly acceptable. Your home should serve your life, not the other way around.
Makes you a victim
Women, in particular, often find themselves apologising for things they didn’t do wrong. By repeatedly saying, ‘sorry about the mess,’ you inadvertently reinforce the idea that your home is ‘bad,’ and by extension, that you are too. Words matter!
Here's what to do instead
Saying sorry can be such a knee-jerk reaction, but the more you practice short-circuiting this, the easier it will be to break the habit. So, next time you feel the urge to apologise for your space, try saying one of these instead:
💚”Welcome to my home, I am so glad you are here!”
💚 “You caught us in the middle of a busy day.”
💚”We’ve been having a lot of fun here.”
💚”As you can see our house is well-loved and lived in.”
💚”Make yourself at home.”
💚”Thank you for coming over!”
I know it can be hard to break this habit (I am still working on it myself). You will probably still feel the need to apologise and do you know what, that’s okay! Change takes time. But I honestly believe that removing this particular phrase from our vocab is important and worth the effort.
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